(Originally November 2022)
Firework Blues
Hooray hip hip Hooray
It’s firework night today
A light distraction and
fire, smoke and bangs
I’ve waited for a year
For to face my fear
To stand alone and dark
In the cold and muddy park
I look at those nearby
I want to stand and cry
Where’s my female comfort
Call a friend we’re taught
I’m absolutely surrounded
At the loneliness I’m astounded
You’d think with so many people round
I wouldn’t feel my heart so loud
Well that’s the idea anyway
I didn’t call a friend today
I didn’t leave my safety box
I didn’t think to check the clocks
I didn’t go to firework night
I stayed home instead felt shite
About the important women of my life
Which one’s a friend and ones a wife
They don’t talk to me though anymore
As I sit and cry and feel the score
Of a childhood of horrendous pain
Against which Guantanamo feels tame
My whole adult life reflects all this
I thought it would be piece of piss
To make my own rules and my pain mend
By finding a woman who could me attend
But alas, the only ones I ever find
Are those with their hearts wrapped in a bind
Those who love just before they run
Ready to sprint away at the starting gun
Those who don’t want to work or talk
Those who hide and throat Chakras cork
When shove comes to push and things get hot
I end up ghosted standing on the spot
But it’s probably for the best in the end
It’s the only way I can this heart mend
I don’t need these cowards by side
I’m the strong one here why feel so tied
To my past and fear of my little child
I can handle this god, though it feels wild
To be forced to weigh anchor every week
To sail ahead and leave the fleet.
To the last person who I thought might be a friend
I March on t’ward bliss at my healings end
I know why this attraction is meant to be
To help me cry and to set me free
But it’s hard this world we create for ourselves
Where we set past emotions on dusty shelves
To watch Over our every attempt to prove
That we’ve got it and we know the next move
It’s alright, though I don’t feel so free
As I feel like life’s rejected me
One day I’ll be able to stand straight and tall
At the hand of god, with love before all.
Love,
Dan Morrell x
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